One of the most important things I have learned in the last 6 months, is how connected we all are and how what we have in common may act as the pathway to discovering the ultimate connection, that oneness within us all we all share. Perhaps we are even more connected than you know. In the spirit of that discovery, I have updated the About me section of this blog.
I am 36 years old and enthusiastically identify as Gen X.
I have lost a parent
I am learning to rediscover another
I have two brothers that love me
I can spend more time loving them
I grew up in a small town
Went to college in a bigger town
Dropped out of college
Had my heart broken as a teenager
And as an adult
I have had almost every hairstyle
Shoulder length
Shaved
Bowl
Cornrows
No dreadlocks
And never shaved only down the middle
There is still time
I have been addicted to drugs
I have been addicted to alcohol
I am currently addicted to pizza
Seriously
I have been overweight
I loved wearing sweatpants in school as a kid
Then I wore a uniform from 4th grade through 12th grade
And dressed like a bum throughout college
And most of my early 20’s
Then I saw Ryan Gosling in a Hugo Boss suit in Fracture
And decided to compromise
I have lied in the past to look good
And avoid looking bad
for fear of punishment
and to manipulate praise
for all the bad reasons
because good ones don’t exist
I watch too much TV
I LOVE watching movies
But don’t really like movies made before 1964
Stand By Me is my favorite
I was a mathlete in middle school
Don’t ask
The first book I remember feeling moved by was A Celestine Prophecy
I once told my fellow 4th graders at recess that I was pacifist
I explained it meant I wouldn’t hit back……
Should not have explained that
I love playing basketball
But not the practice
I loved acting
But not the practice
I love writing
But only when it comes easily
I love anything that comes easily
You know
Anything I don’t have to practice at
Except Yoga
I love practicing yoga
I love just about every type of music
my first love was grunge
I used to tell people I liked everything
except country
that was the thing to say
and now I like country
and have fallen asleep to the sound of Metallica
I am a hard worker
When I know it will get me ahead
Whatever that means
If I could go back I would remind myself
Not all hours spent working are productive
To be proud of a job well done
Not of a job well perceived
I have never been a bully
But I have sat down when I should have stood up
I am sorry for those moments
And I endeavor to never sit
When the moment to stand arrives
I love making people laugh
I laugh out loud
Often about 2 seconds after everyone else
It just takes time for the joke to hit me
I love listening to people sing
And although I wish I could
I’m not the best singer
Except in the shower and elevator
There I am a star
I love works of art
And I draw stick figures
And label my drawings when not clear what is drawn
Really
My 7th grade art teacher threatened to take me off the honor roll unless I drew something else
She allowed stick figures after I submitted ‘something else’
I often think about running for office
Then I see the news
And I don’t
Then I think about what I could change
And I do
Until I tell myself the system is broken
And I don’t
I used to believe in God
Then I didn’t
Then I did
Then being agnostic was cool
Or calling it a higher power
Then I didn’t think about it at all
And now I do
And I believe we are all connected
And I believe
You know
My favorite color is blue
It’s the color of my eyes
my mom’s favorite color
the color of her eyes
I am very skilled at starting things
Less skilled at continuing things
A novice at finishing things
An amateur at engaging in feedback after something is finished
A virgin at being okay with completing something that failed
I give up before I can fail
It’s my paradoxical parachute
Opening it ensures I crash
I will hesitate to hit send on this post
Just like when I want to call to my friends
And I have AMAZING friends
It’s not about you
Always about me
I do believe that sharing who we are
And holding space for others that do
is the foundation for connection
I don’t share enough
I would like to share more
I commit to sharing more
Starting now